I am terrible at dreaming

Have you ever had any weird dreams? Would you like to know what they mean?

So would I.

I've had some strange dreams over my years. However, they're only strange in hindsight - I never thought they were weird when I was dreaming. An example: I had a dream that I was a mannequin at Sears, but I was self-aware (I could see people walking around and one kid stuck gum on my leg. That was depressing). After all the customers left, I had a rave with the other mannequins in the store. Now, this one I actually know what it means: I talked to my friend Aria about it, and she says it means that I was at an emotional standstill. No word on what the gum meant though.

I've also attempted lucid dreaming a few times - you know, where you control your dream. I am not good at this. I once, after several tries, finally made myself aware that I was dreaming, and tried to summon in dancing tubas. They appeared….and began attacking me. I guess my control of my dreams only turns them into nightmares. Because believe me, there is nothing more traumatic for a 12-year old than to be chased by dancing tubas across a tie-dye landscape in a dream. I also forgot I was dreaming when the tubas began attacking me, so that ruined all my chances for lucid dreaming.

I talked to a few of my friends about this and I've come up with a theory: People who can lucid dream will become superheroes later in life. However, the way they learn how to do it will influence the type of superhero they become. If they were born with the ability to dream lucidly, they'll be a superhero like Superman or Human Torch - born/created with the ability, requiring no skill to use. If they taught themselves how to lucid dream, they will be like Batman, using gadgets and training to fight crime. Those of us who can't lucid dream are SOL for becoming superheroes.

I suggest an alliance of non-lucid dreamers (the NLD or something). We shall band together and defeat this new menace of lucid dreamers. We shall slip into their lucid dreams and mess around with them.

Man, this turned into an anarchism speech rather than something positive about dreams. But looking back, I'm not sure how I could have turned it positive after I mentioned the tubas attacking me.